Here’s my response to this great question from an entrepreneur in South Africa (scroll down further to see the full text of his question):
Hey Elevator Pitch Enthusiast!
Thanks for a great question, and I’m happy to help with your Elevator Pitch.
As you have already guessed (hence your email to me), there’s no effective way to cram 13 benefits into a 30-Second Elevator Pitch.
A better approach is to pick the most common benefit and focus on a client success story that demonstrates that benefit.
For example, in terms of the data you’re working with:
Do you help protect payroll information?
Do you help salespeople identify more opportunities?
Do you help companies spot and promote their best employees?
So how do you pick the best benefit and the related story?
Head over to our free Elevator Pitch Creator tool.
It’s free, takes less than a minute, and makes it easy to talk naturally about the most compelling aspect of your work.
I also recommend our book (downloadable PDF) “Elevator Pitch Handbook” which takes you step by step through the whole process of creating a pitch (plus helping you avoid the most common pitfalls).
If you’d rather work directly with me, I offer two coaching options.
1. I write your Elevator Pitch. We get on the phone for an hour. For the first 30 minutes I ask you a bunch of questions to get to know you. The second 30 minutes I write your Elevator Pitch (with your feedback).
2. You write your Elevator Pitch. Our one-hour training video guides you through the three steps of writing an Elevator Pitch. Then post your draft to our private discussion board and I will review, comment, edit, and in some cases rewrite what you have.
All the best in networking!
Here’s the original email (can you spot the second big mistake he makes? scroll down to find out how to get people asking you the right questions…):
Hey Andy! I’m developing my power question and I was wondering…
If you can help me with my elevator pitch as i will be pitch on the 23 May. I have a company called Lobster Consulting Solution, as we all know Lobster is one of the fishes right, picture this what would happen to this species when you take it out of the water? You are right is going to die….. then lets come to the Business World what would happen to the business if it doesn’t take care of its data or Information? It wont perform to its ultimate best because it doesn’t know and how to serve the customer. just to mention about the entire workforce, managers are faced with a real challenging job to streamline their management process which will help to drive working performance.
I want to develop a Human Resource Management Automation Software that can help managers to do.
1. Account Management
2. Activity Tracking and History
3. Contact Management
4. Contract Management
… (plus 9 more “benefits”)
Regards,
<A South African entrepreneur>
The second mistake he’s making is
Focusing on the metaphor behind his company name (lobsters),
When he would rather be asking people about how they manage and protect their corporate data.
He’s encouraging people to ask him questions about lobsters.
What questions do you think he’d rather be asked?
What questions do you want people asking you?