Can you spot three mistakes in this pitch from ChatGPT?
“I help high-achieving adult children who are managing the care of their parents navigate that without losing themselves in the process.”
ChatGPT correctly identified the audience, the problem, and a meaningful outcome.
But some of the right words are in the wrong place.
1. Too Many Adjectives
“High-achieving adult children.”
“High-achieving” isn’t something you can figure out by looking at someone.
And people spend so much time tweaking adjectives like this.
But the goal is for people to instantly recognize who you want to talk to.
So drop the adjectives.
Adult Children are instantly recognizable.
ChatGPT tends to optimize for an accurate description; you’re optimizing for a useful conversation.
2. Nobody Talks Like That
When my client described how she helps, she talked about developing a “long-term strategy for their parent’s care.”
But people don’t wake up in the morning thinking “I’m going to develop a long-term strategy for my parent’s care.
What do they say?
“I’m constantly taking Dad to doctor’s appointments.”
“We have to figure out what to do about Mom driving.”
People will more quickly recognize words they use in their daily lives.
So don’t describe the solution the way you talk about it professionally.
Use the words people use when they’re living the problem.
ChatGPT tends to optimize for describing the problem; you’re optimizing for how people talk about it.
3. The Right Words in the Wrong Conversation
“Without losing themselves in the process” gets at the deeper value of my client’s work.
But it’s not why someone starts talking to her.
They start talking to her because the doctor’s appointments are piling up.
Or transportation has become a problem.
So she moved “Without losing yourself in the process” to the sales conversation.
It means something to the person who’s already overrun with caring for their parent.
ChatGPT can give you good words. Your job is to decide which ones belong in the pitch.
Your Turn
Take another look at the pitch ChatGPT gave you.
Are you using adjectives people can’t recognize?
Does it sound the way your clients actually talk?
Are you trying to squeeze your best words into the pitch when they might work better later?
You don’t have to use the whole pitch ChatGPT gives you.
You might just need to put the right words in the right place.
Bring your ChatGPT pitch to a Free Pitch Check and we’ll figure it out together.